when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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