You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Randomize
