I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize