Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
