Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
