Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Randomize
