you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
