my vag is so smooth its legendary
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
