I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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