Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
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