if you like me you must not know who I am
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
