so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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