everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
a search helicopter?!
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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