if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
