We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
