does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
