She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
