Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
