We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Randomize
