also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
