Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
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