so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
