Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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