No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
