I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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