1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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