if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
