drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
