i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize