Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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