Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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