why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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