I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
