'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
