He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
