then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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