I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
