I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
