He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize
