Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
