I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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