I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Blood and glitter go together right?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I'm too high and old for this...
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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