i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
