Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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