She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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