Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
