When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
