just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
