there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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