i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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