This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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