why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
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