I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Randomize
