Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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