the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
