He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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