come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
