her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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