Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
