moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I love having hate sex.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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