If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
