Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
