she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Randomize
