So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
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