I'm so fucking centered right now
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
